Hey girl, I hate seeing you in pain. So in addition to my duties as running mate, Congressman and lover, I’ll now be adding the title of “Advice Columnist” to my business card.
I also hate seeing you ignorant, so also feel free to ask me for policy clarification.
And pie recipes.
I’m really good at awkward silences.
I never cease to amaze me
With liberty and justice for all*
*(Some restrictions apply)
Does that make sense, sweetheart?
And who doesn’t love pie?
Please welcome a very special guest
Hey girl, I like you, you like me. Let’s make it official.
Click here and then “Like” my page on Facebook. My people tell me you won’t be sorry!
Or click here if you want to see what you’re actually clicking on: www.Facebook.com/PaulRyanGosling
Either way, just take a break from blowing on your nails for a second and click something.
I am the smartest man alive!
It is those whose footsteps we follow that we most truly resemble.
